It’s the most mushy, gushy, vomit-worthy time of the year. Valentine’s Day. There’s nothing worse than watching the cringe-fest that is the celebration of love. Not to mention the gross capitalisation of romance, hetero-normativity, and pressure to not be single that comes with the 14th of February. Though I myself am not single this Valentines, I know what it’s like to be bombarded with love hearts and problematic pda. So, instead of slow-burn, I offer you no-burn. Some of these books focus on break-ups specifically, whilst others contain low-to-no romance.
Here are my recommended anti-Valentine’s reads!
Break-up Books to Binge
Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler
“Min Green and Ed Slaterton are breaking up, so Min is writing Ed a letter and giving him a box. Inside the box is why they broke up. Two bottle caps, a movie ticket, a folded note, a box of matches [...] Item after item is illustrated and accounted for, and then the box, like a girlfriend, will be dumped.” - Goodreads
My goodness, now, it’s been quite some time since I first read Why We Broke Up but it is a novel that has stuck with me ever since early 2017. At the time I read this book I myself was going through a pretty awful break-up, and was actively seeking out books that would help me come to terms with what felt like the greatest loss of my life to date. This beautiful novel did not fail to disappoint. Item after item (which are beautifully illustrated by Maria Kalman) Min unpicks for us why she and Ed broke up and all of the reasons she should have seen it coming. From romantic date to red flag, Min comes to understand why their relationship was ‘doomed’ to fail, and the cathartic realisation that if wasn’t her fault or problem to fix. This book is perfect for anyone who has ever had their heart broken - especially if you aren’t ‘over it’. Spoiler alert: it’s okay not to be.
It Only Happens in the Movies by Holly Bourne
“Audrey is over romance. Since her parents' relationship imploded her mother's been catatonic, so she takes a cinema job to get out of the house. But there she meets wannabe film-maker Harry. Nobody expects Audrey and Harry to fall in love as hard and fast as they do. But that doesn't mean things are easy. Because real love isn't like the movies…” - Goodreads
As an avid Holly Bourne fan, I picked this book up as soon as it came out without knowing what really to expect. I trust Bourne’s writing so much to know that I will never be disappointed to read what she’s written, and I can assure you, my blind faith was proven right as usual.
This book highlights how much love sucks. The sobbing into a pillow until the earlier hours of the morning, snotty shirt sleeves, searing anxiety every time you see the person you were once in love with cross your path or post to Instagram. Even though I felt I was completely over my break-up by the time this book came out in late 2017, reading the last few chapters of It Only Happens in the Movies brought it all flooding back… In the best possible way. Not only are it’s characters realistic, and portray teenage heartbreak wonderfully, it also tackles issues surrounding everyday sexism, sex and intimacy, and family relationships with endless empathy and understanding. I recommend It Only Happens in the Movies to everyone going through a break up right now. I also want to shout out two of Bourne’s other book which deasl with a teenage break-up, relationship as well as sexual assault: The Places I’ve Cried in Public.
Our Chemical Hearts by Krystal Sutherland
“Henry has never been in love. He fancies himself a hopeless romantic, but the love that he's been hoping for just hasn't been in the cards for him [...] Then Grace walks into his first period class on the third Tuesday of senior year and he knows everything's about to change. Grace isn't who Henry pictured as his dream girl; she walks with a cane, wears oversized boys' clothes, and rarely seems to shower. But when Grace and Henry are both chosen to edit the school paper, he quickly finds himself falling for her. It's obvious there's something broken about Grace, but [Henry] wants nothing more than to help her put the pieces back together again. And yet, this isn't your average story of a boy meets a girl.” -Goodreads
There aren’t enough words in the English language to describe how much I feel for this book, the impact it had on me and how it shaped my entire psychology surrounding love and romance. Sutherland really captured the complexities of grief, love, and how sometimes it just… Isn’t ‘meant to be’ even though everything is telling you that it is.
The portrayal of depression, trauma and grief in this novel is so artfully mastered that even thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. There was one quote in particular that has stuck with me since finishing Our Chemical Hearts despite having read 230+ books between now and then: “Just because a love is over, doesn’t mean it wasn’t real”. I recommend Our Chemical Hearts for those of you who are still in the raw, wounded phase of being broken-hearted. I promise you, it will help ease that pain.
Low-to-No Romance Reads
The Rest of Us Just Live Here by Patrick Ness
“What if you aren’t the Chosen One? The one who’s supposed to fight the zombies, or the soul-eating ghosts, or whatever the heck this new thing is, with the blue lights and the death? What if you’re like Mikey? Who just wants to graduate and go to prom and maybe finally work up the courage to ask Henna out before someone goes and blows up the high school. Again. Because sometimes there are problems bigger than this week’s end of the world.” - Goodreads
The Rest of Us Just Live Here is hilarious, charming, and defies all the tropes you’re sick of reading about in YA. Sometimes, you aren’t the chosen one destined to save the world. Sometimes, all you need is friendship, family and some platonic moral support. No need to ‘get the girl’ when the girl is your sister. Ness just… Gets it. He understands what it’s like to be a teenager more than almost any author I’ve ever read about. If you’re looking for a funny magical realism book which focuses on a group of friends, as well as dealing with some more serious issues such as familial dysfunction and mental health, then I strongly recommend you pick this one up!
I Was Born For This by Alice Oseman
“For Angel Rahimi, life is only about one thing: The Ark – a pop-rock trio of teenage boys who are currently taking the world by storm. Being part of The Ark’s fandom has given her everything – her friendships, her dreams, her place in the world. Jimmy Kaga-Ricci owes everything to The Ark too. He’s their frontman – and playing in a band is all he’s ever dreamed of doing. It’s just a shame that recently everything in his life seems to have turned into a bit of a nightmare. Because that’s the problem with dreaming – eventually, inevitably, real life arrives with a wake-up call. And when Angel and Jimmy are unexpectedly thrust together, they will discover just how strange and surprising facing up to reality can be.” - Goodreads
I absolutely could not pass up an opportunity to talk about this book - one of my favourite books of all time, nonetheless. This book captures fandom culture, friendship and the reality of fame more accurately than I have ever seen any other author do. Not to mention, there is hardly any romantic subplot, a diverse and fulfilling cast of characters (a Christian trans-man and Muslim girl are our main characters! What the heck! Amazing!) who you will fall in love with before you’ve had a chance to blink. I Was Born For This requires a lot of suspension of disbelief, but boy, does it pay off. You’ll be laughing one minute and crying the next. The only downside to this book? Sadly, you can listen to The Ark on Spotify. That is the real tragic love story here.
A Series of Unfortunate Events by Lemony Snicket
“Dear Reader, I'm sorry to say that the books you are holding in your hands are extremely unpleasant. They tell an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. From the very book disaster lurks at their heels. One might say they are magnets for misfortune. It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from putting these books down at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket.” - Goodreads
Perhaps it is cheating slightly to put an entire series on this list, but A Series of Unfortunate Events is best enjoyed as back-to-back binge reading full of upset, turmoil and tragedy… Though it is also rather amusing. If you haven’t heard of this series before (what rock have you been living under?) It is a cleverly written children’s series about… Unfortunate events. I personally feel these books are best to go into knowing very little so you can truly enjoy the mystery of the Baudelaire world in its entirety, spoiler-free.
I do believe there are a few (very small) romantic subplots in the later books of the series, but as it is a children’s series these are in no way the main focus of the plot. Instead, the character dynamics exist mainly between the three Baudelaire siblings, their allies, and their enemies. If you want a fun, easy read for this Valentines, I suggest finding these treasures at your local library. Alternatively, the Netflix series is extremely accurate to the book. But, please, don’t talk to me about the movie…
I hope you all have a good Valentines Day despite the gooey, icky romance lark. Perhaps you are even off on a date, but just fancied an alternative to the pink-and-red coated books in stores this time of year. Maybe you’re enjoying the day with friends or family instead of a partner - I’ve done this myself before, and trust me, it’s so nice to celebrate all kinds of love, not just romantic.
How will you spend Friday 14th? Will you pick up any of these books?
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