Todd and Trans: Period Tips and Tapua

A few months ago, a friend of a friend approached me (very respectfully) to ask if I might write a piece about my experiences of periods as a transgender man. The piece would be included in a project called ‘Tapua’; a collection of period-related stories, art, poetry, with the overall aim of creating a positivity guide for young people starting their periods for the first time. I am so honoured that Annie Sanderson, the editor and project manager, included me in this work and so today, I wanted to share with you the finished collection.

‘Tapua is a space to challenge the taboo that surrounds periods. This space is for all: women, men, trans men and non-binary people and everyone else. Even if you don’t get periods, they affect us all. By not talking normally about periods we keep the shame that surrounds them. The book of Tapua shares period stories from all kinds of people as well as some period basics you may not have known.’

The word ‘Tapua’ is a Polynesian traditional concept denoting something holy or sacred, with "spiritual restriction" or "implied prohibition"; it involves rules and prohibitions. The English word taboo derives from this, meaning something that society doesn’t take about or acknowledge. However, periods are important to talk about. They are experienced by over half the world’s population and impact all of us in some way.

To find out more about the Tapau collection, to read it yourself (for free!) or to pre-order yourself a physical copy, please check out the website here: https://www.tapua.co.uk/

It is truly a stunning resource, and the lengths Annie has gone to include the voices of trans and non-binary in this collection are duly noted and appreciated. Everyone can learn from this work.

(Cover of 'Tapau, which you can read here)

Since my personal period story is collected in Tapua, I wanted to write a little more about the ways that (as a trans man) I cope when I am experiencing the less than delightful ‘shark week’. These tips may or may not be useful to you, reader, depending on how you identify or how you personally feel about your period - if you experience one. But, hopefully, they’ll prove useful for someone other than me!

MAN IT UP

Controversial, perhaps, but when I’m on my period I find that it helps me to engage in traditionally masculine activities or presentation. Of course, gender is a social construct, so how you define masculine will depend on you. For me, this usually involves simple things like buying ‘mens’ shower gel, or wearing my chunky wellington boots. Most of my dysphoria when I’m on my period is rooted in feeling like I’m being perceived as more feminim than usual, so finding small ways to combat this - even if not noticeable by others - helps me to feel that bit more boy-next-door.

TALK WITH FRIENDS

Again, this will depend on the relationship you have with your friends. When I’m on shark week, I find that being able to reach out to people who understand the pain and discomfort is incredibly helpful in feeling less alone. I have both cisgender female friends as well as transgender and non-binary friends, all who have or still experience periods, who I feel I can call up just to have a moan and a cry. Creating these narratives can be difficult - and you should always be aware that some people won’t want to talk about their period, regardless of gender - but they are invaluable. Honesty is the best policy and I’ve found that the majority of the time, my friends are grateful I’ve opened up to them, as it gives them someone that they can talk to about their period gripes and grievances. Especially for your trans and enby friends, who see next to no representation of their experience, this can be a healing opportunity to feel seen.

WALK, WALK, WALK

Now for some people, getting up and about whilst they’re on shark week can be far too painful, and that’s totally valid. However, I’ve found in the last year or so that the more exercise (walking specifically) that I do the better I feel for it. As I’m blessed by living by the beach I can go for a stroll by the sea or along the harbourside - and on some occasions I’ve even folk danced at the local pub whilst on. Sometimes I come away more achy than I usually would, but at least then I feel I have a decent excuse to have a lie-in watching sappy movies! Just make sure to stay hydrated and to take breaks when you need to.

LEMON, GINGER AND HONEY TEA

Now I’m not sure if this is just a placebo effect I’ve talked myself into, but on the worst days, lemon, ginger and honey tea is how I make it through. There was a week in December last year where I was struck with both shark week and a really grotty cold and this hot, sweet beverage was my lifeline. Goodness knows how I’ll do without it come summer when it’s too hot for tea…

PRACTISING AFFIRMATION

Trans or not, everyone needs to hear that their lived experience is real and important. For me, this comes largely from my friends, but projects like Tapau can really help too. There is a plethora of online accounts and experiences just like yours if you need to hear that you're not alone. One of my personal favourites is here: ‘My Period and Me: A Trans Guy’s Guide to Menstruation’. Take the time to remind yourself that it’s okay to feel irritable, to let your standards slack - and to stand in the shower for hours on end. You do what you need to do to get yourself through.

I hope that these simple tips provide some reassurance for you as you progress through your monthly cycle, if you have one. If you don’t… Well, I can say that for the most part, you really aren’t missing out! Please remember to check out Tapau - it’s an incredible and inspiring collection - and stay smiley!